My training for Dopey has been pretty rubbish lately.  Good days are sparse and it’s getting harder to push myself on the bad days.  Thankfully the two most recent races, Wesham and the Santa dash (more like a casual stroll with the best crazy people ever) have been good days.  I tried to go to parkrun on Saturday but I woke up frozen (the not able to move kind, wasn’t cold) so that was a no go.  I can’t run in the dark on bad days either which adds more complications so I just end up staring at all the runs I didn’t do on the plan.

I keep feeling rubbish that I’m not doing what I’m meant to, I need a change in attitude and so I’ve pretty much decided the plan needs to be scrapped., run as far as I can when I can and just wing it (worked for Berlin and the Tour so I should just stop stressing really and just run. So that’s what I did today, I forced myself to go to the track instead of sitting and feeling sorry for myself.  I have the track where it’s safe for me to run really but sometimes I make funny noises when I can’t talk or I’ll get stuck in a pattern (like repeat the same noise, hit my head,  the other day I got stuck walking backwards).  I can run through pretty much all of this (I’m like an expert of running with only one moveable arm now) but when I’m really bad I don’t like to leave the house because people will see me.  I try to fight it but some days it just makes it easier to give up and not struggle through a run that’s physically like ten times harder than it would be on a good day when everything works.

Today might not have been the most graceful 10 laps ever but at least I did it.  I got to see a really pretty rainbow over the track too which I’m taking as a good omen.  I’m going to try and double the distance each day to do a Dopey test run, so tomorrow 5 miles, then 10 and possibly 20 (although I might have to break it up, I’ve not done a long run since April).  If I can’t do it through I’ll just do what I can and stop stressing about Dopey only being 5 weeks away.  Feel better about it already. If only figuring out what to eat that don’t require a knife or fork was that easy.